If Your Veteran Hasn't Claimed Their Benefits, It's Not Too Late

This Memorial Day, I want to talk about something I see in my work that doesn't get talked about enough.

I'm an occupational therapist. I've spent thirty-two years in people's homes — and for the past several years, I've been doing that work in hospice. I sit with people at the end of their lives, in the homes where they raised their families, and I try to make those final months as safe and as dignified as possible.

A lot of those people are veterans.

Sacrifice made-support owed

And a lot of them — Vietnam-era especially, but Desert Storm too — have never claimed the benefits they earned.

Not because they don't qualify. Because they don't feel like they deserve them.

I've heard it more times than I can count. A man who spent a year in the jungle, who came home to protests instead of parades, who stuffed everything down and got on with his life — he doesn't think he's done enough to ask for help. He doesn't want to be a burden. He doesn't want to make a fuss.

It breaks my heart every time.

What's Actually Available

I'm not going to overwhelm you with every benefit that exists. I want to give you the ones that matter most for families in the caregiving season right now.

VA Aid & Attendance This is a monthly pension benefit for veterans who need help with daily activities — bathing, dressing, moving around the house. We're talking potentially $1,000 to $2,800 a month, depending on the veteran's status. Most families have never heard of it. It exists for exactly the people you are caring for.

VA Home Based Primary Care This program brings a care team — including occupational therapy — directly into the home for eligible veterans. If your veteran is homebound and struggling, this is worth knowing about.

Equipment and Home Modifications VA benefits can unlock higher quality equipment for transfers, ramps, grab bars, and home modifications. Things that make daily life safer and more manageable — for your veteran and for you.

Hospice and VA Benefits Can Run at the Same Time This is the one that surprises people most. If your veteran is already in hospice, it is not too late to activate VA benefits. These two programs can run simultaneously. Your hospice social worker can help you navigate this — it's exactly what they're there for.

One Important Thing to Understand

VA disability compensation and VA pension (which includes Aid & Attendance) are two separate programs. You cannot receive both at the same time — you have to choose one.

If your veteran has been receiving disability compensation for a service-connected injury, it's worth sitting down with someone who can compare the two programs and run the actual numbers. Don't assume one is better than the other without checking.

That someone is free. Keep reading.

The One Call Most Families Never Make

There is a person whose entire job is to help veterans and their families figure out what they're entitled to. They are local. They have no agenda. They charge nothing.

They're called a County Veterans Service Officer — a CVSO.

This is the call I wish every veteran's family made before the crisis hit. Before the fall. Before the hospitalization. Before the money ran out. A CVSO will sit with you, look at your veteran's specific situation, and tell you exactly what programs may apply.

To find yours: Go to va.gov or call 1-800-827-1000.

What Documents Do You Need?

The most important document is the DD-214 — the discharge papers. This is what proves military service and unlocks benefits.

Can't find it? Don't panic.

When you submit a VA benefits application, the VA will request the DD-214 on your behalf. You do not need to locate it first. If you do need a copy, you can request one free through the National Archives at archives.gov (search "eVetRecs").

One heads up for families of older veterans: a 1973 fire at the National Personnel Records Center destroyed millions of military records, particularly for Army veterans discharged between 1912 and 1960. If you hit a wall, it doesn't mean benefits are off the table — records can often be reconstructed. A CVSO can help you navigate this.

Where to Start This Week

If this post made you wonder whether your veteran has unclaimed benefits, here are your three next steps:

1. Call your County Veterans Service Officer — find them at va.gov or 1-800-827-1000. Free, local, no agenda.

2. Look for the DD-214 — check filing cabinets, safe deposit boxes, with other important documents. If you can't find it, the VA can help.

3. If your veteran is in hospice, talk to the social worker this week — tell them you want to explore VA benefits. This is a conversation they are prepared to have.

A Note for the Caregivers

If you are the one holding all of this — the appointments, the paperwork, the worry, the love — I see you.

Caring for a veteran comes with its own particular weight. The stoicism. The "I'm fine." The body that absorbed years of hard use. The mind that never fully stood down. You have been showing up for someone who spent a lifetime not asking for help.

That is not ordinary caregiving. And you deserve support too.

That's what KARE For Homes is here for.

Marguerite is an occupational therapist with 32 years of experience currently working in hospice and home care in the Hudson Valley. She founded KARE For Homes to support family caregivers navigating the long stretch between diagnosis and end-of-life — the messy middle where families manage largely alone.

This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, or medical advice. For personalized guidance, please consult a County Veterans Service Officer, elder law attorney, or qualified benefits counselor.